Being a people pleaser

What does it mean to be a people pleaser?- Free Spirit

Being a people pleaser is doing things, not for yourself but to please others, even if you don’t feel like it. As long as others aren’t offended by their expectations, you’ll feel that you’ve met their needs and gained their compassion.

This may happen in a variety of scenarios, such as at work with your boss, colleagues, or clients, at home with your children, partner, or parents, while shopping, dining, or even driving past.

Many people-pleasers erroneously associate pleasing others with generosity. They say things like, “I don’t want to seem selfish,” or “I simply want to be a decent person,” when expressing their unwillingness to turn down someone’s request for a favor. As a result, they allow others to exploit them.

People pleasers frequently find themselves in this dilemma as a result of their history. It’s possible that they were rejected, and to avoid experiencing the same anguish again, they begin pleasing others.

Whether you over-blame yourself or are afraid that others will constantly blame you, repeated apologies might be an indication of a larger problem. You don’t have to feel bad about who you are.

It is natural for various people to bring out different aspects of your personality. People-pleasers, on the other hand, frequently damage their ideals they end up engaging in self-destructive conduct when they believe it would make others feel more at ease in social circumstances, according to research.

You can’t develop genuine relationships with others unless you’re prepared to speak out when your feelings are harmed. Denying that you’re angry, upset, ashamed, or disappointed – even if you’re emotionally hurt – makes a relationship superficial.

In psychology people-pleasing is associated with a personality trait known as “sociotropy,” or feeling overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval as a way to maintain relationships.

People-pleasing isn’t always a bad thing. Being concerned and caring is essential for sustaining healthy relations with loved ones. It becomes a concern, though, if you are seeking acceptance to boost low self-esteem or pursuing the happiness of others at the price of your own emotional well-being.

If you are a people pleaser learn how to balance your desire to make others happy without sacrificing your own.

Because making a major shift might be difficult, it is frequently preferable to begin by expressing yourself in subtle ways.

It’s critical to recognise your limits, set clear boundaries, and express those limits. Make it clear and precise what you’re willing to take on.

Begin with saying no to simple requests, expressing your opinion on something small, or requesting something that you require.

Reflect on how you want to spend your time. Who do you wish to assist? What objectives are you attempting to achieve? Knowing your priorities might help you decide if you have the time and energy to commit to anything.

If you start to feel overwhelmed or inclined to cave, use positive self-talk to strengthen your determination. Remind yourself that you deserve quiet time. Your objectives are essential, and you should not feel forced to spend your time and energy on things that do not offer you joy.

When someone asks you for a favour, tell them you need some time to consider it. Saying “yes” straight away might make you feel obligated and overcommitted, but taking your time to react to a request allows you to consider it and determine whether it’s something you truly want to perform.

Another step in overcoming people-pleasing is to be on the lookout for indications that others are attempting to take advantage of your generosity. Is there somebody who constantly seems to want something from you but then disappears when you need them to return the favor? Or do some individuals seem to be aware of your kind disposition and inquire because they know you won’t say “no?”

A strong, healthy relationship necessitates some degree of reciprocity. If one person is constantly giving and the other is always receiving, it frequently means that one person is sacrificing necessities to ensure that the other person has what they desire.

Don’t do things only because you fear rejection or want the approval of others.

If being a people-pleaser makes it tough to pursue your own pleasure, it’s critical to learn how to set limits and reclaim your time. Remind yourself that you will never be able to please everyone.

Free Spirit